U call urselves friends?

I am so sick and tired of mah "so-called" friends...they always asking "where u bin emma"...I bin sitting mah friggn ass at home...while ya'll go out cuz u aint got da courtesy to invite ur so-called friend...i'm gittin real tired of everyone playing games....jus say what u mean and mean what u say...

I'm leaving in 27 days i aint got time to think certain people down for me when the aint...so i can stop wasting mah time on dem...lyke i sed dis is why mah life is yet to start...and i cant wait till it duz

I'm leaving

*Verse 1*
Slowly but surely we are drifting apart from who we are...
We shared a love that we thot was tru...
but in the end...
I have no choice but to leav u...
u were mah love...
No one can ever compare...
To the love, joy, and union we share...

*Chorus*
Sed im stuck now...dont know what to do...
if anything...i cant even stand to look at u...
without...without having ur arms hold me tight...
I dont know why...but even then the thought of us jus makes me cry...

make me wanna cry out...
im leaving...dont need u...
where were u wen i hurt....when i hurt inside

so lonely laying down with noone by my side

*verse 2*
I told myself i would never let this happen again...
But look at us...cant even have a talk to agree on this end...
the end of us...we're stuck now...
not knowing what we have as a whole...
but we now we know
no one can ever compare... to what we had...
the pain, hurt, tears, fights that we shared...
I guarantee ...

*Bridge 1*
I'm gone now....
On mah own now...
so dumb to think i needed u...
I got mah own life...starting fresh a new start...
So now i am....

I'm leaving...dont need you
Where were you when i hurt...when i hurt inside

No more crying...
Im done dying inside..
cuz u killed me....
but ima bring mahself back to life...
on mah own...so secure now...not insecure nooooo


dont need no man...
neva needed one before...
so now ur gone ...cuz i left u...
had enuf of u...
so sick of the games u always play...
mah heart broke but slowly healing ....
I wish i could say the same about u and me...
but its over...so over
nothing left to do, say, or see...

this is the end...of you and me

GRRRRR

I am so friggn irritated ryte now...
Its hot...
I cant find mah dang wallet...
I try bein coo wit mah X and it jus blows up in mah face
Mah mom still aint back home yet...
And mah stomach hurts lyka motha...

But on the bright side...
I got some new clothes on saturday...
and i'm bout tah go see Transformers...
...but idk cuz i cant find mah wallet...

31 Days Left Til I Leave!!!

I'm feelin mighty fine today!
Woke up early for PT ran some and played some bball...
It was hot as crap...but it was fun b/c now it seems like more people are showing up...

I love days like dis b/c it makes me remember what i have to look forward to...
It sucks b/c it seems like almost all mah frenz have jus cut me off...and i aint even gon git all "emo" 'bout it...
I cant friggn wait until i finally get in the fleet and meet new true Life Long frenz...

"I feel as if mah life is yet to start and I'm sure that once it does I won't trade it for the world"

...Sure i still care bout mah H.S frenz but if we aint chill...then das jus wut it is

So now I'm all showered up...fed...and ready for the day
Gonna go shoppin with mah sis...and den sleep over

P.S
Last nyte i stupidly made up wid dumbass but he fucked it up by suposedly gitting drunk...when everyone knows he was putting up a front...well like i sed yesterday i'm ova it...it sux..but ultimaterly its his fault

Truth is...love hurts

"Why is it that just when you think things are as good as can be...it falls to the point of no joy?"

It sucks that i love hym so bad when i hate him even more!!!

I have taken so much nonsense from dis dood...and now im done!

PROUDLY FINISHED...and yet i find myself missing him and wanting to be in his arms

Almost two years...and within da las month i thot we was a sure thang foe da future...FOREVER..

but in the past week...he's shown me a side that is worse than wen we started...he came so far...WE CAME SO FAR AS A COUPLE!

Now the anger and dispear on his part has created the same on mah side...

He says he loves me so much and yet he treats me lyka dawg...

I AINT GOIN BACK TO HIM...NOT THIS TYM!!!

NO L's FOE ME

So i failed mah damn driving test...off some dumb ass BS...

first off da lady was a B and she basically set me up for failure...

or maybe it was jus me but whatever...i mean i drove all da way to gilroy for the test but i couldnt pass it....WTFRENCH....and now i cant even make an appointment until tomrw and the next appointments that are open are like july 20th...

HELLO I WANNA GIT MAH LICENSE BEFORE I GO TO BOOTCAMP....NOW IMA BE STUCK AT HOME FOR MAH LAST MONTH OF FREEDOM....GRRR

So here's a recap!!!

Okay so I think I'm pretty much fired from dis blog stuff...lol

Well its been about 9 days since mah last entry and alot has been goin down so ima let you know whats been goin down in mah life..."in preparation to go to bootcamp".

Okay so the 17th was mah X boo's birfday...I made him a double layered cake...came out hella bomb...i then spent the next couple nights at his house wit his family but on friday night i went home for PT the next morning.

POOL FUNCTION JUNE 20th
So today i was made guide...we marched to independence for a quick IST...almost all of my scores improved from last time...

Flexed arm hang: 54 sec.
1.5 Mile run: 13:52 min
crunches: 62

Then we played some softball...2 doods got clocked in da dome by da ball during warmups...dis marine private stone and poollee sasamotto...foreo we lookeded like da benchwarmers...lol...but once da game got goin it was pretty good...our team ended up winning in the last inning..

Then we ate some BBQ and took home some MRE's...it was a good day.

SUNDAY JUNE 21st
I saw first hand just how precious life truly is....for the first time in my life i attended a casket viewing of a loved ones father...i felt numb the entire time...i could only imagine how his family feels...

MONDAY JUNE 22nd
This was my boos and mine anniversary but it was also a day for the funeral...
I felt awkward ina dress for the second day ina row but i got over it...

After the funeral and what not das when da drama went down between my and mah X so watching him get yelled at by his mom...i left but lil did he kno i was goin to his house in gilroy to spend da night wit his sistahss...it was a coo night after dat...

TUESDAY JUNE 23rd
Woke upp and ate french bread and boiled eggs...went to da cemetery...

later dat night i had to buy grocerys foe mah fam. and it wasnt dat easy...
My bf at da time was rushing da shhyt outta me...and after i finally barely afforded all the groceries my bros car that i was driving got a flat....GFRRFRRR...he hadda spare but no tools...
Then mah bf sstarted drivving and started alotta drama YADDA YADDA YADDA which ultimately led to him speeding off in his truck and the end of us...

WED. JUNE 24th
Pretty much lazy and tired all day from the nigght before...ALL DA STRESS AT HOME AND WIT HIM JUS TAKING IT ALL OUTTA ME....AND ON TOP OF DAT I HAVENT BIN FEELIN DAT WELL....

watched mah soaps then hopped in da shower...

-->got picked up by SSgt. jackson...went to PT...damn baby hoe was pissing me off!!!
but almost didnt make da run to da field but pushed thru...played some football....team won HOORAH!!!...then had a super long run home....i couldnt keep up...but ima do whatever it takes to prevent that from happening ever again!!!

TODAY!!!
Met up wit a very old frend of mine Laura erly in da morning to take care of some bidness...went to her house after to have some grub and cake for her bday...and found out Michael Jackson died....then

she gave me a toothbrush b/c all mah junk is at my X house in Gilroy....including mah cell charger

.now im home tryna finda way to git ahold of mah sis to practice for mah drivers test manana...
wish me luck tomrw...

so as you can see...besides PT days wit da RSS i aint bin doin much to prepare but dat gone change TRUST because now i only have

32 days left until i leave for marine corps bootcamp

The Countdown Begins

42 Days Left Until Marine Corps Boot Camp

So I promised myself I would workout everyday after graduation...
Ummm....so far not so good

Last night I went to bed at like 2:30am
So without a doubt i slept in...
Since then I've been working on dis blog crap and watching TV....what a life right?

But then...Sgt. Dean called me talkin his smack as usual...lol
i think its a good thing dat he did call thoe cuz it hit me that i gotta workout...
It aint like im hella outta shape its jus i got high standards for myself to go above and beyond the minimum requirments.

So the last time i took an Initial Strength Test was April 9, 2009-->THE RESULTS
1.5mile run:
Min req: 15:00
My time: 13:55
Flex Arm Hang:
Min req: 12 sec.
My time: 59 sec.
Crunches:
Min req: 44
Mine: 55

I am planning on buying a stop watch so i can test my self once a week...so not much for now but I AM GONNA GIT OFF MAH ARSE and workout HARD!!!!

Gonna start da workout plan Mai Nguyen made me..Gracias

Okay so I did my work out...not as long as i would have wanted but i didnt hydrate enough this past week so i kept gitting dizzy...

• I did mah fast warmup run for about 10 minutes
• Did some leg lifts on dat one machine
• Worked on mah abs with that other one machine...lol
• Worked on mah thighs with the leg lift machine
• Pushed out assisted pull-ups....by da time i leave ima be doin atleast 2 unassisted pullups.
• Staggered pushups: Mai's workout plan
  
• Jump squats: Mai's workout plan

I feel good but i wish i woulda ran longer...probly will tonight...

tomorrows da boos birfday...probly not gonna go to PT cuz do to his situation i kno he needs me...sumtimes i gotta put others before my own needs...cuz i do need to go to PT but sgt. dean betta understand...lol...he aint got no choice.

I AM who AM & Who da hell R U?

Some Like To Think They Know Me...But Rarely Does Their Perception Of Me Ring True

So I've decided to try out this blog stuff...
My perception of life has been greatly influenced by the actions of those around...
Many say you should learn from your mistakes...but me...
I learn from the mistakes of those around me as well...

My whole goal in life is to make a difference without conforming to fit others criteria...
I am now a young adult...fresh outta highschool
And my goal is now in the making...

GOAL: To make a difference while being me and doing what i love
DESTINATION: Marine Corps Boot Camp Parris Island [[July 27 2009]]
PREPARATION: Follow me as I log day by day what i do to prepare for Marine Corps Bootcamp...counting down the days

42 Days Until I leave For Marine Corps Boot Camp