"I've become so numb..."

So the past couple days have been pretty coo...but its like the days are just passing me by and not hitting me...

Past couple days: I went to git Red Robin with two good friends Ana and Windy...then we watched porn in tha theatre..lol..naw we watched Bruno but mine as well have been porn...it was disturbingly funny...then got picked up by the BF...it was fun hanging out wit old frenz again... --->OMG and I came sooo close to passing mah drivers test I got -19 but only allowed -15...grrr...and on top of dat...when i was driving home wit mah mom and boo in da car while i was stopped the car behind the car behind me hit the car behind me which led to the car behind me hitting me...lol...no damage but kinda scary....lol...but it was ok then later that night da boo layed on da grass and watched da starts wit me...and made me a ring outta nature..but then it broke ;(....

Today the boyfrends going bak home...I'm glad for him but it jus sux cuz i kno i wont git to see as much of him before i leave but as long as he is happy its ok...

I have had soo much goin on...

I jus started to pack up mah stuff and its so surreal to me...like i cant even feel all i can feel is my stomach twisting from anxiety...

I'm not acting different much but i can feel my self having to push myself to be ME... Sometimes i even feel as if im over doing it but i honestly dont kno how to handle it...

I try to get closer to my boyfriend but i kno he's suffering too and his way of dealing with it is to push me away so that he wont be so attached when i leave but steo i sux...i love change but

sometimes tha route to a good change sux...

• One of mah brothers thinks he's suffering from a social disorder
• Mah other brother is soon to be homeless again sleeping under a bridge
• Mah youngest brother is gitting a second chance i sure hope he takes it
• Mah mom is moving out of the country to Germany with her drunken husband

I kno that after bootcamp I'm gonna have somewhere to stay (mah sisters) but it jus sux thinkin that I'm not coming bak to "my home"...

Well I'm going to Raging Waters today wit mah girlies cuz we didnt end up goin last time so hopefully that takes mah mind off things...I found some hilarious pictures from like years ago that i gotta show them...yup yup gotta live it up cuz i only got

11 Days left until I leave for Marine Corps Bootcamp